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[Evening at Lita's parody] Evening at Hector's, part 5 [Various]

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Feb. 24th, 2007 | 11:32 pm
mood: accomplished
posted by: sarajayechan in fe_parodyfic

Title: Evening at Hector's part 5
Parody of: "Evening at Lita's" by Vermillion (Sailormoon)
Author: Sara
Game: Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken
Pairings: ORGY!!!!
Rating: C for Crack [R]
Warnings: AU, OOC, crack, snarky commentary, cum geysers (LITERALLY), food fetishes, explosions, anatomical insanities, sappy happy ending

"Evening at Hector's"


So the other guys got back as Hector was watching the weather reports, and started walking into the bathroom.

"Hey what are you doing, the kitchen's that-a-way!" Hector said.

"We're not cooking in there, you and Erk jizzed all over the counter!" Raven said in his usual blunt manner. "We've got a hot plate."

"Okay!" Hector decided to trust them even though it was obvious they'd had a few brain cells removed just to be in this fic. He heard various noises in the bathroom, from Raven screaming at Eliwood and Eliwood calling Raven a butt to things crashing around. Finally, Sain came out and put a blindfold around Hector.

"We're ready~!" he chirped. Hector happily followed his friend into the bathroom, where Sain stripped him naked and ogled his clean-shaven sack. Yes, clean, as in no nicks, scars, or stubble. Before you cry realism, think about how you'd have to get nicks or scars down there. After you've finished wincing, STFU and let me go back to the story. Damn, you readers are picky.

ANYWAY! Sain took off the blindfold and showed Hector the Big Surprise.

"OMG!!!" Hector squealed. The tub was filled with a variety of fruit flavored Pop Tarts! (Yes, Pop Tarts. Didn't I just tell you to STFU?) Erk, Raven, Sain and Eliwood sat on each side of the Japanese furo (aka bigass bathtub).

"All this, for MOI?" Hector said.

"You gave us all our hot sexual fantasies, so we wanted to repay you," Eliwood said. Aren't they just the sweetest? "Now get in the tub and let us sex you up six ways from Sunday."

Hector laid down in the Pop Tarts, his back against Eliwood's chest. Their lips locked in the most passionate kiss in the history of passionate kisses, a passion not even Pent and Louise could match!

Erk and Raven got out two cans of whipped cream and Sain got out a tub of Cool Whip, which they frosted Hector with and licked off of him over and over again. It was all so hot Hector felt like he was going to cum, but he held it back. It's not like he culd get blue balls or nothing.

So the hot whipped cream and Pop Tart and makeout session went on until Hector's dick was swollen to five times its normal size from all the cum building up in there.

"Wow, look at how big that thing is," Eliwood said. "You okay, Hector?"

Sain poked it curiously, and that was it.

"OMG LOOK OUT GUYS IT'S GONNA BLOW!" he yelled. Hector let out THE LOUDEST ORGASMIC YELL EVER KNOWN TO MAN!!!!!! as his cock erupted the biggest cum geyser of the night. Literally. It sprayed the ceiling and splattered all over the other guys and the surrounding Pop Tarts. The amount of cum could have filled an entire litre bottle of soda!

When the explosion ended, the bathroom was a black hole and everyone was dead. Just kidding. They were alive, but drenched in Hector's man juice.

"Wow. That was the biggest orgasm I've ever seen!" Eliwood said. "Let's taste it!"

The guys eagerly licked the cum off of each other, but Hector was so tired he fell asleep. Nope, sleeping in a bed of soggy, crumbling Pop Tarts isn't uncomfortable atg all!

The next morning, Hector found himself naked on his bed. "Oh, they must have put me here. The nerve, they could've at least stayed for pillow talk!" he said. "Oh, wait, I fell asleep first. Nevermind!" He stood up and went to shower, but before he could get there he groaned. "Oh shit the cum explosion and Pop Tarts are gonna be a bitch to clean up!"

But when he got to the bathroom, it was sparkling clean! The guys must've done it, how sweet of them. Hector showered, got dressed, and went to clean up the kitchen and living room.

But they were clean, too! Hector saw the digital clock and almost had a heart attack when he saw it was 1:30pm. "OH FUCK I OVERSLEPT!" Oh, it was also a Saturday. What? I'm not obligated to tell you what night the sex party was on! Gimme a break, people!

Then he saw a note.

"Dear Hector, last night kicked ass. We only came over to marvel at your magical overnight cooking skills, but it turned into a night of hot passion. Before this we barely interacted with each other outside of fighting cockroaches, but last night brought us together in so many ways. We discovered our lust love for each other and we have you to thank for it. If you'd kept your porn in a safer place, we never would have discovered this passionate lust love for each other. From now on, we'll all be the best of buddies forever and ever amen.


Erk, Raven, Eliwood, Sain."

Hector's eyes wobbled with sparkly anime tears as he hugged the note.

"I love you all too," he said sappily.


OR IS IT? Don't miss the hot, action-packed sequel, a hot crossover starring Ayra, Lyn, Echidna, Marisa, and Eirika! What happens when a dinner party at castle Renais takes a strange turn thanks to Eirika's secret fetish for leather and edible body oil?! Find out in "Evening at Eirika's!"

JUST KIDDING! It's over, really.

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Comments {2}

Hikaru "Jayden" Morinaga-Jaye

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from: sailorvfan10
date: Feb. 25th, 2007 05:49 am (UTC)


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your entitled savage bitch :D

(no subject)

from: sarajayechan
date: Feb. 25th, 2007 07:27 am (UTC)



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