"Eliwood's Usual Morning"
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May. 25th, 2007 | 05:02 pm
posted by: sailorvfan10 in fe_parodyfic
Title: Eliwood's Usual Morning
Parody of: "Usagi's Usual Morning" by Jeffrey "One-Shot" Wong
Authors: sarajayechan and sailorvfan10
Game: Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken
Pairing: Eventual Eliwood/Hector/Sain/Erk/Rath orgy, Eliwood/Hand
Rating: T for TL;DR [M]
Warnings: TL;DR description of body parts, AU, gushing love juices, masturbation
Notes: WE'RE NOT ON CRACK OR ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES. So no, we won't share the stash of drugs. We don't have any. BUT I DO HAVE MOUNTAIN DEW. Also, this is a lemon. Reading this may cause pain in certain parts of your body, namely your head as you beat it against the wall. Enjoy!
The summer sun shone hot over Eliwood's house. It was a beautiful day and Eliwood and his friends were going to have an orgy. I mean go to the beach. Yeah. Yeah, the beach. Where there would be lots of se--I mean, water. Yeah, lots of water. ANYWAY, the wind blew (haha, blew!) the leaves on the trees, and it was a beautiful Saturday morning, far too beautiful to stay inside and masturbate to dickgirl pr0ns. Eliwood stretched his slender yet manly muscular arms as he yawned and opened his eyes. He kicked the covers off his muscular legs and they landed on Louise, causing her to freak the hell out and shred them. Bad kitty.
"Louise!" Eliwood said, exasperation in his manleh voice, "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE. Those were my favourite sheets!" The remnants of the sheets were all over the bed and the floor, as well as on Louise's fur.
"I'm sorry," Louise said, embarrassed. "I thought Nergal was going to kidnap me and have his way with me!"
"...But Louise, you're a cat."
"...So? Pent and I--"
Eliwood ignored the rest of her sentence and said, "I don't need to hear that." Louise looked at Eliwood and realised how mature he had grown. He still had the messy red hair and shiny cerulean eyes he had when he was younger, but his hair was shinier and more sophisticated-looking now. He was eighteen now and had lost the stick he'd had in his ass at age 15 when he was freaking out over a C on a test. He was still responsible and stuff, but now he knew how to party! He'd gotten taller, and more muscular as well, and basically looked like a male supermodel.
He was so beautiful that all the boys so wanted to have him writhing against their bedsheets, their dicks between his legs, that beautiful mouth of his opened and those sweet moans. And all the girls wanted his dick inside them, too, and would cream their underwear whenever Eliwood wore pants that were just a little too tight.
"So what are you doing today?" Louise asked.
"I'm going to the beach with the guys for a yaoi orgy. I mean to scope out chicks and get a tan," Eliwood said. "Wanna come with?"
"KITTY HAET WATER. Besides I have a hot date with Pent."
"Okay, but if you change your mind, you're welcome to come."
"Okay, whatever." Louise stretched. Eliwood opened the blinds.
"Eliwood, I wouldn't do that if I were you...," Louise warned, licking her master's face.
"And why not?"
Suddenly, a gust of air came through the open window and caused Eliwood's tight-fitting Super Princess Peach boxers to blow up, causing anyone who could look through the window to see every last pubic hair. Why they would want to, I have no idea. Oh, and the wind also blew Eliwood's SpongeBob Squarepants shirt up, giving the world (or at least the birds that were chirping outside) a great view of his muscular chest and muscular arms.
"That's why," Louise said. Eliwood eeped like a schoolgirl and shut the blinds. Anyone walking by could've gotten an eyeful! But no one was there.
"Good thing no one saw!" Eliwood said, reiterating the point one last time as he shut the blinds.
"Well, I'm gonna shower!" He stripped his shirt off and headed for the bathroom. His parents were on vacation leaving Eliwood alone at home for at least a month. Louise would've scolded Eliwood for walking around half naked, but he was home alone and a grown man so it was his right to show off his goods whenever he wanted. And besides, it wasn't like anyone was around anyway. Everyone would give 20,000G to see him walking around without his shirt on, and even more to take off his pants. He opened the door to the bathroom and shut it, locking it so Louise wouldn't be able to get in. He turned the water on and sat on the side of the tub to wait for it to fill up. After several minuets (because Eliwood liked to dance), he sat back down on the side of the bathtub, gingerly placing his hand in the water to test the temperature.
"Perfect!" he said to himself, and then to the wall (who also wanted to get into Eliwood's pants, but sadly, he was a wall and therefore couldn't). He then proceeded to look at himself in the mirror and get a hard-on. Muscular arms and legs, smooth manly chest, broad shoulders, hard strong dick, sexy hair, etc. He felt his dick get harder than a diamond and pre-cum starting to drip out. He took his boxers off and slowly got into the tub, giving the fangirls a good long look at his naked body before getting in.Eliwood had no idea why the boys (and girls) wanted to get into his pants and shrugged, sliding more and more into the warm water.
"Aww crap," Eliwood said, "I got precum all over my boxers." That shit was a bitch to get out of fabric, or it was in Eliwood's case. He looked at his legs and saw how long and slender and muscular they were. His legs were so beautiful, in fact, that boys (and girls) would purposely drop their pen just to be able to look at them (and his ass). His ass was what all the boys fantasized about, along with his legs wrapped around their waists. It made all the boys hard and the girls cream their cotton panties in excitement. Eliwood had no idea what they were going on about. They also loved his hips, the same hips they fantasized thrusting against with a frenzied need as they fucked his brains out (but not literally). Eliwood was still (sadly) a virgin, something he was quite proud of (which is why they thought he was weird to begin with). No one had the guts to ask him out, not even Hector. Or Ninian, who'd been lusting after his ass since they'd first met. Even though she pretended to be angsty and distant.
Anyway, he got into the bath and started scrubbing his hard sexy body with the bar of soap. His manly nipples were hard and his dick was getting harder by the second.
"Ooohhh I'm so...horny..." Eliwood said, his soapy hand going south. He wrapped it around his very hard member and moaned, loving the feeling. Eliwood might have been a virgin, but he probably masturbated more than anyone in his school combined. He masturbated at least six times a day, and felt empty if it was any less than that. He got horny over anything (including himself), and would jack off at the next opportunity to do so. He started stroking himself, slow at first, but went faster and faster as his climax came closer. His breaths came in short gasps, his body all red, his hand moving faster and faster, lubricated by the soap and the water. His hips bucked into his hand until SQUIRT! He reached his peak and so much semen squirted out that the bathtub almost overflowed. Once he realised he was bathing in his own spunk, he let the water out, turned the shower on, and cleaned himself off. He got out of the bath and dried himself off, I'll spare you the details of how he dried his muscular chest and arms and legs and scrubbed his nipples and got hard again as he dried his dick. Whoops, I lied. Noticing how hard he was, he threw the towel down, sat back down in the tub, and stroked himself again.
'Who cares about Erk, Hector, Sain, and Rath? They can wait.' With that he proceeded to jack himself off again, this time, squirting his come all over the shower wall.
"...Dammit, that always happens. Oh well, I'll just say it was Pent."
TO BE CONTINUED...